Smoky Mountains National Park Road Improvements

The Great Smoky Mountains National Park has received $44 million to improve and rebuild many of its roads.  The work is scheduled to start early spring 2010 and continue into the summer.  

This is great news for locals and visitors to the Smoky Mountains.  Due the large number of projects, varied traffic handling, and possible date changes for each project, we feel it’s best to direct you to the Smoky Mountains National Park web site for road closures and traffic pattern changes/updates.  They have a  calendar showing all the projects at www.nps.gov/grsm “Planning Your Visit.”

• Hillbilly Jokes & Others

  The IRS audits Grandpa ! The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’ I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’ The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’ Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’ The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’ Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops. Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.’ Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. ‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’ The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. ‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks. ‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and you’d be happy about it.’

• Area Attractions

  WonderWorks - An amusement park for the mind ! A fun and excellerating indoor Pigeon Forge attraction for all ages.
  Hoot N' Holler Dinner Show - Pigeon Forge dinner show, serves up an Italian feast fit for a hungry bear while guests enjoy laughs by the bucket!

• Tennessee Blog Posts

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  • Veterans Recognized With FREE Meals
  • Limited Construction Traffic Closed Section of Foothills Parkway
  • Christmas Wonderland Lights Display Smokies Stadium Sevierville TN
  • Tennessee Smoky Mountains Area News
  • Tennessee -Sevierville Heritage Museum Reopens
  • Pigeon Forge TN’s Scream N’ Shout GOING ON THE ROAD!!
  • Country Tonite Christmas Show Pigeon Forge Tennessee

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