Pigeon Forge Tennessee Area News Updates

Titanic Museum has not yet sailed and already she demands a red light.  As politics play out we can be assured the light will be installed soon, so travelers be ware of changing traffic patterns.

It appears Waldens Landing shopping center may get a new theater that would replace the current putt-putt golf course.  Will devulge more info as it develops.

Pigeon Forge’s Dollywood Splash Country water park announced the addition of Slick Rock Racer, a multi-lane mat slide available for the 2010 season.

“Me and my brothers and sisters used to play in the creeks around home in the
Smoky Mountains, and more times than not, we`d land on a mossy covered rock that
sent us for a ride like you wouldn`t believe,” Dolly Parton said. “That`s the
same kind of unexpected thrills and adventure that I had in mind when I chose
Slick Rock Racer for families to enjoy together at Dollywood`s Splash Country.”

Slick Rock Racer spans 300 feet and features four water-drenched lanes, each
side by side. Positioned belly down on mats, each rider travels head first on a
channel which includes an initial dip to build speed. Multiple bumps along the
length of the slide allow riders to gain additional momentum which propels them
to the finish. The new attraction can accommodate approximately 600 guests an
hour.  Dollywood Splash Country operates from Memorial Day through Labor Day.

Dolly’s Splash Country - New Million Dollar Water Slide!

Dollywood’s Splash Country plans to open a new water slide in 2010, Slick Rock Racer.  Construction on the slide will begin in a few weeks as the waterpark closes for the season. 

The slide will permit 4 racers at a time to whisk down this large and fast 300 ft slide.  With an initial drop to build speed and several humps along the way, riders are sure to find the experience exhilarating.  An estimated 600 riders per hour will be able to make the wet and wild journey.

• Hillbilly Jokes & Others

  The IRS audits Grandpa ! The IRS decides to audit Grandpa, and summons him to the IRS office. The IRS auditor was not surprised when Grandpa showed up with his attorney. The auditor said, ‘Well, sir, you have an extravagant lifestyle and no full-time employment, which you explain by saying that you win money gambling. I’m not sure the IRS finds that believable.’ I’m a great gambler, and I can prove it,’ says Grandpa. ‘How about a demonstration?’ The auditor thinks for a moment and said, ‘Okay. Go ahead.’ Grandpa says, ‘I’ll bet you a thousand dollars that I can bite my own eye.’ The auditor thinks a moment and says, ‘It’s a bet.’ Grandpa removes his glass eye and bites it. The auditor’s jaw drops. Grandpa says, ‘Now, I’ll bet you two thousand dollars that I can bite my other eye.’ Now the auditor can tell Grandpa isn’t blind, so he takes the bet. Grandpa removes his dentures and bites his good eye. The stunned auditor now realizes he has wagered and lost three grand, with Grandpa’s attorney as a witness. He starts to get nervous. ‘Want to go double or nothing?’ Grandpa asks ‘I’ll bet you six thousand dollars that I can stand on one side of your desk, and pee into that wastebasket on the other side, and never get a drop anywhere in between.’ The auditor, twice burned, is cautious now, but he looks carefully and decides there’s no way this old guy could possibly manage that stunt, so he agrees again. Grandpa stands beside the desk and unzips his pants, but although he strains mightily, he can’t make the stream reach the wastebasket on the other side, so he pretty much urinates all over the auditor’s desk. The auditor leaps with joy, realizing that he has just turned a major loss into a huge win. But Grandpa’s attorney moans and puts his head in his hands. ‘Are you okay?’ the auditor asks. ‘Not really,’ says the attorney. ‘This morning, when Grandpa told me he’d been summoned for an audit, he bet me twenty-five thousand dollars that he could come in here and pee all over your desk and you’d be happy about it.’

• Area Attractions

  WonderWorks - An amusement park for the mind ! A fun and excellerating indoor Pigeon Forge attraction for all ages.
  Hoot N' Holler Dinner Show - Pigeon Forge dinner show, serves up an Italian feast fit for a hungry bear while guests enjoy laughs by the bucket!

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